EDITED - Life in the Mediterranean

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Foreword



The first half of this post was put up around 24 hours ago. We had continued to start the rest of the post immediately; but the man whose internet cafe we were in decided that we had been on his computer for long enough and disconnected us. Everything was lost! A big argument ensued, and we are proud to report that we argued effectively in Italian including many hand gestures as per local custom. Whilst we are happy with that outcome, we are most displeased that we are trying to reconstruct this entry as the one we had written last night was simply wonderful. We apologise in advance if this one is less than scintillating.


Grazie mille,

-EuroTrash
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Hello reader, hello.


Today we find ourselves in Italy. It is most wonderous, and is all that we have dreamed of, and a whole lot more. In the tradition of the plethora of books ('Under the Tuscan Sun' for example) about moving to Italy and living la vita italiana, we shall be unnecessarily inserting Italian words in italics and providing you with unnecessary handy translations afterwards which helps show our authenticity and ability to assimilate into the local culture. Come così (like so).


Allora (now then), where did we last leave our tales of travel? It was in France I believe...


Paris indeed was inspiring, glamorous and astounding. We traversed the city as dusk fell to see the Eiffel Tower display its hourly shimmer:












We also sat in front of the Notre Dame cathedral and fed little birds bits of the baguette (baguette) that we had bought at the local boulangerie (boulangerie) that morning:

In addition to all of this activity and general hubbub, we managed to be cultural too! With arms in a formation similar to what one would be expected to do in the well known 'chicken dance', we elbowed our way through the crowds at the grand Louvre Museè (museum) to see Her. Yes, we managed to catch a lengthy glimpse of Mona Lisa, She of the Enigmatic Smile and key inspiration behind the literary watershed, The Da Vinci Code.

What is it that is so enigmatic about her smile? We do think that the enigma could very well be that she is indeed not smiling at all, but rather was painted like that becase Signor da Vinci knew that millions of people would line up every year to see this painting and walk away muttering to themselves "Right. Seen that. Où est Le Venus de Milo?". Signor da Vinci did after all invent the helicopter 500 or so years before anyone else did, so we are certain that he would have forseen the Mona Lisa fiasco at least.

Having considered that we had "done" Paris (or at least our very tight itinerary was telling us that we had no choice in the matter), we made our way to the train station and caught the oh-so-lovely TGV train all the way down to the Riviera where we alighted at Nice. Now, do bear in mind that we are travelling on a youth Eurail pass which means that we should only be entitled to second class travel on trains. BUT, the lovely lovely lovely people at the train station gave us first class tickets!

Yes, that is correct gentle reader, EuroTrash is pleased to report that all people in Paris are very nice indeed. It was our expectation that we would use our haltering French to request a baguette (baguette), only to be handed a dead squirrel and then when we assure them a mistake has been made, we would be spat at in the face. Fortunately, none of that eventuated. In a traditional Today Tonight-style survey, we interviewed (interacted with) approximately 30 Parisiens and we can conclusively announce that 100% of Parisiens are nice!

You will be pleased to note that this was not the only Today Tonight-style survey that we conducted. Sitting in McDonalds in Montmatre, someone upstairs must have had a coronary from the french fries sauce that comes with all meals. An ambulance was called, and three ambulance workers bustled in. Of our survey of three ambulance workers, we can conclusively announce that 66.66% of all French ambulance workers are highly attractive!

[Please be aware that all visits to McDonalds are done in the interests of cultural research. The Economist magazine uses the prices of Big Macs worldwide to provide economic analyses; in a similar vein EuroTrash is using McDonalds as a baseline to effectively compare and contrast the varying cultures we encounter. In another Today Tonight-style survey to come later, we will use McDonalds to conclusively announce which culture in Europe is ultimately the best]

Hmm. After that slight detour, let us return to our arrival in Nice.

Nice is très (very) beautiful. The old town is full of narrow cobbled lanes, bars and restaurants one would expect. We found ourselves unexpectedly hauling our collective butt up a large hill (almost mountainesque) and gasped for breath (at the sheer beauty, and also because of exhaustion) at the following scene:

With limited time in Nice (one night), we made the most of it and took part in quintessential French Riviera activities - people watching and sand castle building. I am sure that as a reader of this blog, you are an educated individual and would be aware that a great percentage of beaches in this area are pebbly indeed (our Today Tonight-style survey of one beach allows us to conclusively announce that 100% of Mediterranean beaches are pebbly!). However, due to our deft skill and expertise in construction and engineering, witness the wonder of our Mediterranean Sand Castle!!!

And it is indeed this very picture that leads us to the other said activity - people watching. If you missed it in the picture above, here is a close up, in detail for you:

In Australia, fashion trends for the summer usuall follow what has been trendy in Europe for the summer just past. With this in mind, then for the next Australian summer, back hair and bottom-crack-revealing-speedos-with-vomit-print will most certainly be in!! You read it here first.

Here is another fashion trend sure to hit Australia's fair shores (girt by sea), as spotted on the very same beach:

Yes; subtle, monochromatic yet highly functional.

Fashion is also used to make strong personal statements. Take this young man for example:

Here, the young man is presenting us with the dichotomy that is his life. He wishes to rebel against society (by not wearing pants); yet at the same time he must still work within the system, and so wears his pants beneath his bottom thereby cancelling out their intended function. How clever he is indeed! We are aware that this bottom-showing trend is already en vogue (in fashion) in Australia, but (ha! pun intended) expect it to go to new heights - or lows - as summer comes around.

After this quick stop in Nice, we again boarded the train and crossed the border into our spiritual home, Italy. It had long been our ambition to visit Italy having studied the language for many a year, and were keen to put those language skills to good use. We took our seats, and before long an elderly signora (lady) had come into our compartment to sit down. Carrying a large valigia (suitcase), we kindly offered to assist her place it in the luggage racks above. Gratefully accepting, we proceeded to haul it up whilst simultaneously shifting our own backpacks over and trying not to fall on anyone. With the signora fussing away, we shifted her suitcase a little too far to the left and pushed a little red handle we had not seen previously. Mechanical screeching belched out from all around and we were jolted abruptly as the train came to a halt having just triggered the emergency stopsignal. We tried to hide our blushing face as EVERYONE on the train started to peer in at us whilst the guards rushed over and fussed about.

We had already begun to leave our mark on the country.

Actually, in more ways than one.

During a lenghty trip of any sort, it is inevitable that one will need to relieve one's self at some point. We headed to the bathroom on board the train and whilst our bladder was being relieved, we saw this:

"Durante le fermate nelle stazioni è vietato servirsi della ritirata"

"It is forbidden to use the WC when train is standing in the station"

Wondering why that was so, we finished and flushed. As water filled the bowl, so too were our ears filled - with the sound of the train rushing over the tracks. The belly of the trainhad openedup and left our relief on the tracks. Some may think that living in the Italian country side may be idyllic; it can indeed be so, but just don't live near the train tracks!

Our train deposited us in Genova on the Italian 'riviera' coastline. Genova is a major port town and due to our afternoon arrival we did not have the opportunity to go out of town and see the glamorous parts of the coast line as hoped so instead we stuck with the harbour front in town, a completely unsatisfying meal and many a toothless zingara (gypsy lady) asking for money. We retired early to our room and turned on la televisione (the TV) and got us some Italian "Deal or No Deal" action! It was a decidedly run-down version compared to the Australian show; cardboard show boxes tied up with string were used instead of shiny brief cases as is seen in Australia. And sad but true, the host's oration skills were not nearly deft as Andrew O'Keefe. Oh Andrew, how we missed you in that dark hour.

The next morning saw us moving south through the country to our present location - Firenze (Florence). This city, and the surrounding areas of Tuscany are simply beautiful. One searches for adequate words to describe it, but they can not be found. So, as the Italians say, "una pittura dipinta mille parole" ('A picture paints a thousand words'. Well, we are not sure if they actually say this or not). So here are a few pictures, and you dear reader, can come up with the accompanying few thousand words.

A view of Firenze from the Boboli Gardens

A view of San Gimignano from the top of the tallest tower.

The huge and bustling main square in Siena

The view of an American tourist being made to wear blue plastic sheeting after entering a religious building dressed inappropriately (shoulders uncovered).

And so ends our time here in Firenze.

We did notice whilst wandering around here that there is a stark contrast between Britain, France and Italy. Britain and France know how to do grandeur very well. Their major monuments gleam, everything is polished, the transport is excellent and tourists are bustled about efficiently.

Italy too is certainly home to grand monuments. The Duomo here in Firenze is an amazing structure and all literature EuroTrash has read about this building assures the reader that the Duomo is indeed one of Italy's best loved treasures. However, it does not gleam; one can see it slowly fading amidstthe scaffolding, water damage and dust. The myriad police services that patrol the area seem to strut and preen rather than do anything useful and any concept of efficiency and orderliness seems totally foreign here. Like the toilets on the train and the dodgy production of Deal or No Deal, everything has a used and shabby feel about it. And this is what makes Italy, well, Italy. EuroTrash would have it no other way. As a famous Canberran once said, "I don't know what it is, but I just love it!".

So true.

Arrivederci,

-EuroTrash